I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the importance of community when we want to make changes in our lives. Making changes isn’t easy, and having someone in our corner who believes in us and wants us to succeed can make all the difference in the world.
Our busy lives often make this really challenging, and in my experience, connecting with others in a heart centred way is a form of self care. We aren’t meant to do this alone. Being human is hard, and these crazy times we’re living in make it even more challenging to really connect with each other. We’re living in a world that wasn’t built for human beings. It was built for human doings, and it’s really hard to keep up. Which is why community is more important now than ever! We can’t do this alone. It’s already hard enough! But we’ve been taught that to ask for help is weak, and that we just need to dig deeper and work harder. So we put our heads down and plough through… but to what end?!? Where are we going? What is this elusive place we’re all trying to “get to”?
In my experience, the exact opposite has been true. It’s been by slowing down, taking care of myself and connecting with others that I’m finding so much more joy and aliveness in my life. I know it’s not easy, but it’s worth it!
Over the years, I’ve found community in a variety of ways, many of them online. I’m noticing that when I allow it, my soul guides me to the online communities that will support me in my current stage of growth. Currently, I’m part of the Living Temple with Sarah Jenks, and just attended one of her Emerge in person retreats, which was AMAZING. I’ve also recently started training as a Priestess in the Rosa Mystica Mystery School at the Priestess Presence Temple, and am LOVING it! For those looking to gather with other women online in community/sacred space, and feel supported, held and loved, I encourage you to check out their free online ceremonies at the Equinoxes, Solstices and cross-quarter holidays. They usually have a new moon ceremony every month as well.
The other way I’ve been creating community for myself is through “voicemail volleyball”. It started when I was taking an online course, and had met a woman through their online community and we decided to be “accountability buddies” for each other. We both knew that we were way more likely to carve out the time for ourselves to do the work if we weren’t doing it alone. That course finished almost 3 years ago, and we still send voicemails and/or text messages to each other almost daily, and have grown SOOOO much together as a result! We’re two perfectly imperfect humans, on a journey together, and it’s made all the difference in the world! Fiona is now one of my closest friends and we’ve never actually met in person!!! It’s amazing what allowing ourselves to open and connect with another person can do. We have each grown far more than either of us ever could have on our own.
The other person with whom I play “voicemail volleyball” is my sister Susan. We send voicemails to each other almost daily, and, as a result, our friendship has become so rich, so deep, so nourishing. She lives on the other side of the country so talking on the phone was always challenging, and we’d often go many, many months without talking at all… until we started chatting over voicemails. Now, it’s part of my regular routine to sit and have my morning tea with my sister or have her with me on my drive to work as I listen to her message and send one back, and we have become soooo much closer as a result.
Having these two wonderful women in my life to listen and hold space for me as I move through life challenges, and to celebrate my successes with me, and to be able to do the same for them has been incredible. As Susan pointed out to me, it’s the next level of “energetic math”, where 1+ 1 = 11. As we talked about last week, sacrifice has an energy of 1 – 1 = 0, and service has an energy of 1 + 1 = 2. When two perfectly imperfect humans show up for each other, to listen and support each other as we muddle our way through life, it becomes a synergy, where 1 + 1 = 11. Where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Where we raise each other up simply through listening, witnessing and reflecting back. Knowing that we are each already whole and complete. That neither of us is there to “fix” the other, but simply to be a witness, as we each find our own answers. It is such a gift both to witness and to be witnessed. To have a “sister” to walk beside on this journey, believing in each other and reminding each other of what’s possible when we inevitably lose our way.
We’re all very different, in our interests, needs and schedules… and I do think most women function at their best when we have a community to support us – whether it’s mom and baby groups, church groups, online communities, coffee with the girls, or voicemail volleyball, I think we all do better when we find our “sisters” – the women we can be our honest, real, messy, human selves with. I encourage you to seek them out. We really are stronger together.
Sending you so much love sister
Until next week,
Shana