As a family doctor, my day was a stream of 10 minute appointments dealing with the issue at hand and coming up with a plan – ordering a test, prescribing a medication, submitting a referral or just reassuring someone that everything is okay. My husband is a writer and I’ve been watching him with interest for years as he works through the creative process of bringing a story idea to life from the first sparks of an idea through to a finished novel or screenplay but I never really understood the process until recently.
Years ago, I sensed this little voice, whispering to me to start writing, to start sharing inspiration, to empower people and to build a network of connection and support. I had absolutely no idea how to actually do anything about it, so I just ignored the nudges. Over time the little voice started getting louder and louder. I had become so bogged down in the heaviness of day to day life in medicine that I’d become completely divorced from my soul’s calling. In August 2020, my soul started screaming. I realized I could no longer ignore the screams. It was time to make a change. It was time to leave my practice and begin the creative process my soul was calling me to step into.
In May 2021, I wrote my first article. It flowed out so easily and freely, and I assumed it would always be that easy. It was not. I went on to spend hours and hours writing absolute garbage, ready to chuck my computer across the room because it was so hard. Despite how hard it was, though, I could feel my soul calling me to continue moving forward. It urged me to keep writing, keep creating, keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I’d been feeling a big pull to create a course as well. I had all kinds of ideas but they never seemed quite right. I played around with different topics, different formats. I considered group medical visits vs private pay options. I spent hours and hours mulling over different ideas but nothing ever seemed like the right fit. In January, I decided to double down on my creative efforts and get something out into the world. After a week of wrestling with the content, I finally threw up my hands in surrender and decided it just wasn’t going to happen.
A couple of weeks later, while recovering from covid, the idea for “Connecting in Community” dropped into my head. As easily as I’d written that one article last May, this felt like a “download from the Universe” where the basic structure of Connecting in Community landed in my head one morning: the way I’d run each group, a rough idea of the content, when I’d offer it, how long it would run. I talked it through with my coach and next thing I knew, I was sending out emails to former patients inviting them to join me on the adventure of creating this new course. Ten women signed up and Connecting in Community was born.
Since that initial download, it’s been fascinating watching myself move through the creative process. At times, things flow so smoothly and easily. Other times I end up wrestling with ideas in my head that don’t fit together the way I want them to and get really frustrated. In moving through each creative step on this journey, I’m learning to trust the process. I’m also learning that the struggle is a very important part of the process. Often my best ideas come in the time right after I’ve really been wrestling with an idea and in the process of surrender, the ideas seem to just flow.
This year has been quite a journey, one that will continue as I learn, grow and evolve. I now have a far greater appreciation for all the work that goes into any creative pursuit. Each of us has our own unique gifts and through the creative process we get to allow our true selves to shine through.