Oh man, what a week! These prophesied times are no joke!!! I don’t know about you, but I find human-ing can be really hard at times, especially in this crazy world we’re living in right now! And yet, I know that the hard times are a necessary part in the process of letting go of what no longer serves us in order to grow, evolve and transform into who we are becoming. Individually and collectively.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say I have been getting in my own way a LOT this past few weeks! In multiple different aspects of my life, I’ve been finding myself falling back into old patterns of pushing, micromanaging and trying to “figure things out” instead of allowing myself to be guided by my inner wisdom and my connection to God/The Goddess/The Universe/The Divine/Source energy. I know better… and yet here I am, again!
In my Priestess training, we’re working with Truth oil this month – working with the energy of the 5th (throat) chakra, which relates to self expression and using our voice to speak our truth. Then the other day I took the Midlife Maven Peri/menopause quiz, created by the founder and dean of the Priestess Presence Temple where I’m doing my Priestess training. In this quiz, I learned that I’m in Gateway 6: Self Expression of my peri/menopause transition. This second to last gateway is all about “What wants to be expressed through me now that I have stopped organising my life around what is expected of me?”.
I’ve definitely been feeling this energy rising in me over the past few months. That’s why I created this newsletter series… because there was a part of me that could no longer resist the words that wanted to come through me. When I started this series, I had it all mapped out. What I was going to say. The flow from one week to the next. A linear journey through the Divine Feminine.
… and then the Goddess let me know that she had other plans for what would be said during this series. Every time I tried to write from the outline I’d created at the beginning or to plan out what I was going to say in advance, she’d throw curve ball after curve ball until I got the message that I was going the “wrong” direction. I’d always fight it for a while, then eventually I would surrender and let the words that wanted to be said come THROUGH me, not FROM me. I’d then think I had it “figured out” and would repeat the same process. Week after week, I’ve been fighting with myself, trying to “figure it out”, struggling to write from my mind… and then finally, letting go of control and surrendering to Divine Guidance … at which point the words flow effortlessly from my heart.
My process this spring reminds me of a dragon fly from last summer. It flew into a huge open window in the place we were staying then was trying frantically to get back out through the smaller pane of glass right next to it. I was holding a piece of paper to help direct it from the pane of glass it was frantically banging its head into, towards the huge open window less than a foot away. I stood there, with the piece of paper periodically offering it assistance to where I could tell it wanted to go, but it kept fighting it. The freneticness of the flying increased more and more until it finally got so tired it couldn’t fight anymore and it finally landed on the corner of the window sill. Once it stopped fighting, I was able to gently guide it back out the window. In its “weakened” state, it surrendered and allowed me to give it the assistance it needed. Gently guiding it back to where I knew it wanted to go.
I have thought of this dragonfly often as a metaphor for the ways I try so hard to “figure it out” myself. The ways I spin frantically, trying to figure things out and drive myself crazy, instead of trusting that I am always being guided. That there is a force greater than me, here to help, whenever I stop fighting it long enough to receive its assistance.
I am very strong willed and have achieved a lot in life through willpower, pushing myself, striving, doing and planning. In many ways, it’s served me well… and I’m learning a better way. A more gentle way. I say this as a STUDENT of this process, not as a master! I am actively teaching myself the skills of slowing down, tapping into my inner wisdom, quieting my busy mind and surrendering to Divine Guidance.
Similarly to Rooting into Mama Gaia, it’s so simple… and yet it’s not easy. Quieting my mind and beginning to release some of my intense need for planning, doing and figuring it out has not been easy… and yet the times that I’m able to really surrender, allow and receive the wisdom of The Universe, the most magical and amazing things have been happening. To me, this is what magic is all about. It’s when we’re able to stop fighting ourselves long enough to align with the current of Life so the serendipities, magic and miracles can unfold. And in my experience, it’s always WAY different than what I have conceptualized in my mind… and although it may not seem like it initially, I have always been guided to something much better than what I’d been planning.
So, dear sister, I am writing to you today from a place of humble surrender. The Goddess has been guiding me through this 6th gateway of self expression, and She really turned up the heat recently as I began working with my Truth (throat chakra) Oil… and I think I’m finally hearing Her. I can feel myself fighting Her less and less. Opening more and more, and allowing the words that want to be spoken to come through me. Transmitting a message of the ENERGY of the Divine Feminine rather than a bunch of “facts” about Her, as I’d originally set out to write about.
I have so much gratitude for all of you in this community. My sisters on this unfolding journey of becoming. The journey home to ourselves in body, mind and spirit. The remembering and
reclaiming of the Divine Feminine.
Thank you for being with me on this journey. I feel all of you. I feel your energy. Your presence. Your love. The net we are co-creating through the weaving of the energy of the Divine Feminine. Although things are really crazy in the world right now, it’s also an incredibly exciting time to be alive. I see evidence all around me of how we, individually and collectively, are REMEMBERING this lost part of all of us. This isn’t about gender. The Divine Feminine is an ENERGY. One that’s present in ALL of us but that we’ve become deeply divorced from as a society… until recently.
All around me, I see an appetite for a more BALANCED way of living. Where BOTH the action oriented, linear, direct Divine Masculine energy AND the receptive, weaving/netlike, intuitive energy of the Divine Feminine are woven together. In harmony with each other. Allowing us to take aligned action from a place of inner knowing – by tapping into our inner wisdom, surrendering control and allowing ourselves to be guided by the Divine.
What about you? In what ways do you notice yourself trying to “figure it out” or control the unfolding of life rather than allowing yourself to be in the flow of life and surrender to Divine guidance?
If you find it challenging. Please know you’re not alone. These are deeply ingrained habits that take time to untangle… and every journey starts with the first step. As I’ve said before, we’re in this together. As each of us begins to make little changes in our life, we shift the energy of the collective. We can do this. Together.
Sending you so much love,
Until next week,
Shana
* I understand that these newsletters and audio messages offered by Dr. Shana Johnston are designed to help me tap into my own inner wisdom and find my own answers. I understand the information presented by Dr. Johnston is based on a combination of her personal experience and current medical knowledge in a constantly evolving field where a variety of different opinions exist. I understand that the ideas and information presented should not act as a substitute for the individualized advice of my qualified and licensed healthcare practitioner. In reading/listening to the material presented, I agree to accept full responsibility for my interpretation of any content I consume, and thereby release Dr. Shana Johnston from any liability related to the information and ideas presented in any of her offerings.