Over the past 6 years since burning out and leaving my practice, I’ve really resonated with the metaphor of the butterfly. The incredible transformation from a furry little caterpillar crawling around and munching on leaves to a beautiful butterfly, flitting about as if they haven’t a care in the world.
As I look around, I see so many individuals, as well as our species as a whole, going through this time of transformation. Of letting go of the caterpillars we used to be – living our lives according to what we “should” be doing, what society tells us is “normal” – to the butterflies we are becoming as we each release these old stories and conditioning to begin following our hearts on our soul’s path.
The challenge is to move from the caterpillar to the butterfly, we need to go through the very uncomfortable process of transformation. Of releasing who we thought we were so who we are becoming can emerge.
The first stage of this process is the energy of fall – of releasing and letting go. Of moving inward. Quieting the “noise” from our busy world and carving our space to sit, journal, reflect. Tuning into the quiet voice of our inner wise woman. Taking inventory of our lives. Sitting with what no longer serves us and is ready to be released. With discernment, examining the many balls we are juggling and choosing one or two that we are really only doing because we think we “should”. One or two things that we are ready to stop carrying. To set down to make room for what really matters.
This is also a good time to really notice the parts of our lives that ARE working. It’s so easy to take things for granted when they are going well, and it’s not until we lose those things – for example an issue with our health – that we realize just how valuable it was. Energy flows where attention goes, and as we shift our attention to the parts of our lives that ARE working, it shifts our energy. We begin to see the glass as half full rather than as half empty. We live in an energetic universe, and this is one simple thing we can do to begin shifting our energy towards what we want more, which helps us create even more of it.
The second stage in this process is the energy of winter – of composting what we have released so it can become the fertilizer for the next cycle of growth. In our butterfly example, the caterpillar feels the “call” to move inward and builds a chrysalis, a place to “release” all their caterpillar-ness and become “caterpillar soup”. In this stage, they are in the void. The unknown. The liminal space. Where they no longer recognize who they were but haven’t yet become who they will be. This is SUCH an important part of the journey, but for most of us it’s VERY uncomfortable. We’re taught to have certainty. To “figure it out” first then act. The problem is that certainty and possibility are at opposite ends of the spectrum. To allow for new ideas, new possibilities, new ways of thinking or doing, we need to release certainty and embrace the unknown.
In this second stage, the caterpillar releases ALL of who they were to become the caterpillar soup within which the imaginal cells can begin to come together. To begin to reorganize themselves in a new way. For us, in our process of transformation and growth, this means sitting in the discomfort of the unknown. Releasing what we know is no longer serving us and creating the space, the fertile void, within which the new way can begin to take shape.
A few years ago, I was deep in this stage and it was REALLY uncomfortable. I went through a LOT of kleenex and spent a ton of time feeling lost. We’re so used to having a direction. Having a plan. I kept trying to “figure it out” but the harder I tried to figure it out with my mind, the more I struggled. It was only as I began learning to surrender and allow myself to be guided by my inner wisdom that things finally started to take shape. I talked about this last spring in Surrendering to Divine Guidance if you want to revisit that article.
The third stage of this process is the beginning of the emergence. The energy of spring. The time in the creative cycle that there isn’t a lot to see yet but the energy is shifting to one of new beginnings, new possibilities. In our butterfly example, this is the stage where they are cracking out of the chrysalis and squeezing the water out of their wings.
This phase is about taking the fertilizer from all that we released in the fall and composted in the winter to support this new emerging growth. This is a time of new beginnings, of weaving together seemingly disconnected threads into a beautiful tapestry. As I talked about in Tapping into our Inner Wisdom,, being on this journey has often felt like I was in a fog with a headlamp that only lit up a few inches in front of me. I didn’t have anything “figured out”. I could not see the full picture of where I was being guided, but I could feel a nudge to take a small step – like sending an email to someone a friend suggested I connect with or signing up for a course because my heart jumped in my chest when I heard about it or arranging a walk or a coffee date with someone I had a “hit” I needed to talk to. As I began taking one small step after another, the path has slowly unfolded. It hasn’t been linear at all, and I never could have “figured it out” with my mind. Instead this beautiful tapestry of disparate threads is weaving together as my new life takes shape.
Finally, the fourth stage is the energy of summer, of full expression. When the butterfly has fully emerged and is flitting about, enjoying their new freedom and the joy of their fullest expression. I believe this is what we came to this lifetime to experience. The life of the butterfly. The freedom and joy of living our life according to our soul’s calling. This is not to say that we’ll get to a point where we’ve “arrived” and it’s all sunshine and unicorns, but in my experience I feel more and more alive, more and more “me” as I follow my soul’s path.
For me, burnout and a rough menopause transition felt very much like this journey from the caterpillar of who I used to be – working 60 hours a week, looking after everyone else and putting my own needs last – through the “caterpillar soup” of a ROUGH menopause transition to now beginning to emerge as the butterfly of who I am becoming. A woman who is willing to show up for herself even and especially when it’s hard. Listening to my body, challenging my conditioned patterns and nurturing my spirit. Connecting to my inner wisdom and “coming home” to myself and who I really am. If you’re interested in hearing more about that journey, I’ve included a link below to my talk on Menopause: A Portal to our Wisdom Years.
As we move through this fall season, I invite you to consider what you feel called to release? What is your heart whispering to you? What is your inner wise woman saying? Could you commit to one hour, once a week for this fall season, to connect with your inner wisdom? To sit quietly with a cup of tea and a journal? To go out for a walk and allow the falling leaves to inspire you? To get together with a girlfriend and talk about what you are each ready to release as you listen to the whispers of your soul?
These are challenging times we are living through. No question. Things are REALLY hard, individually and collectively, as we move through these transformative times… and I believe in us. We are each a beautiful, unique piece of a giant puzzle that makes up the New Earth. Each with our own gifts and challenges. As we each learn to release our conditioned patterns and begin to tap into our inner wisdom, we not only change our own lives but we also shift the culture. Each of us plays a part. We can do this. Together.
As always, sending you so much love sister,
See you in two weeks,
Shana
* I understand that these newsletters and audio messages offered by Dr. Shana Johnston are designed to help me tap into my own inner wisdom and find my own answers. I understand the information presented by Dr. Johnston is based on a combination of her personal experience and current medical knowledge in a constantly evolving field where a variety of different opinions exist. I understand that the ideas and information presented should not act as a substitute for the individualized advice of my qualified and licensed healthcare practitioner. In reading/listening to the material presented, I agree to accept full responsibility for my interpretation of any content I consume, and thereby release Dr. Shana Johnston from any liability related to the information and ideas presented in any of her offerings.