I notice I hold myself back from writing newsletters because I don’t want to flood your inbox with emails where it almost feels like everyone is shouting louder and louder, cranking out more and more content in an attempt to be heard above all the electronic noise. That’s so not my style, and so I’ve had a resistance to reaching out because I don’t want to “bother you”.
… and my inner wise woman has been whispering to me to reach out. Reminding me that underneath all the noise, people are craving real conversations, connection, a way to make sense of what we’re going through. I’ve learned so much over the past 5 years since leaving my practice, and there is a lot I want to share with you, particularly about what I’ve been learning about the Divine Feminine, so I’ve given myself a writing project. For the next 13 weeks, I will be writing to you once a week, from my heart, with some of my thoughts on how we can make our way through these challenging times.
Why 13 weeks you might ask? Contrary to what we’ve been taught for most of our lives, 13 is a very feminine number (which is the reason it was vilified by patriarchy). In our natural state, during our reproductive years, we are meant to cycle with the moon, which orbits the earth 13 times per year. I’ll speak more about the concept of cyclic living in a later newsletter, but thought it was important to kick off this 13 week series shining a light on the shadow that’s been cast by patriarchy over all aspects of the feminine, right down to the average number of cycles we have per year!
For me, reclaiming my feminine nature has been such an important part of my healing journey over the past 5 years. Life in our society encouraged me to develop my masculine side. I got into medical school by working hard and pushing myself, and have spent almost three decades working in a healthcare system that values efficiency, productivity and seeing as many patients as possible in a day. I did my best to adapt to a world that wasn’t built for someone like me – someone who loved to spend time with people, offer words of encouragement and a hand to hold when times were tough, and hold space for the emotions that come up as we face issues with our health – the love and compassion that many of us feel naturally called to offer.
I pushed myself to become more “efficient”, more “productive”. I started learning how to turn off some of my natural impulses… but it came at a price. Slowly, I was cutting myself off from my heart, my love of people, my deep caring for others … until by 2020, it felt like I had a thick layer of cotton around my heart, and my connection to my soul, my essence was slowly dying.
That’s when I made the very difficult decision to leave my practice. I knew I had to. I was dying inside, and I had to do something to “find” myself again. I had no idea how I was going to make it work financially since I was the sole income earner for our family at that time. I asked for help from God, The Goddess, The Universe, The Divine, Creator, Spirit, Source Energy, whatever name you want to call it, and I was amazed at the magic and miracles that unfolded to support me.
Since leaving my practice, I’ve continued to work in medicine, but I took a big step back for a while, and since then I’ve been making a concerted effort to work in ways that feel aligned with my heart, my soul… and you know what?!? I’m enjoying my work again! I’ve found ways of weaving my natural, more feminine ways of practicing medicine into the work I’m doing, and loving being with people, offering wisdom, and having my heart open again.
For me, so much of my healing has come from reclaiming my feminine nature, and allowing myself to move through a process of transformation and growth. As I reclaim my feminine nature – feeling my feelings, cultivating my creativity, tuning into my intuition, nurturing my spirit and experiences that bring me joy, connecting with Mother Earth, tapping into my connection to The Divine, and connecting with other women in heart centered community – I feel as though I remembering lost parts of myself and creating a life that feels full, whole, integrated, alive.
Over the next 13 weeks, my intention is to share with you some of what I am learning about each of these different aspects of the Divine Feminine as well as my thoughts on the process of growth and transformation that we are collectively moving through, in the hopes that there will be threads for you in what I share that will help you in your journey of growth and self discovery.
Sending you so much love sister
Until next week,
Shana
What is your relationship to your feminine nature?
You can reach me here on my contact page
I’d love to hear from you 💗